How To Have A Money Conversation With Your Spouse

If you are married or are in committed relationship, you need to be having regular money dates. Period.

I know, I know, I know.

A lot of you are cringing.

This can feel awkward if you aren’t used to talking about money with your partner, but it’s vital you are both on the same page about your family’s financial picture. (Don’t make me throw out the statistic that money is still the leading cause of divorce!)

Ideally you should be sitting down with your spending plans (and wine!) to look at your numbers and review your accounts at least once a month.

But when life gets in the way you can sneak in quick conversations to help keep you connected on money decisions.

There are a few different ways this can look. And there is no one-size fits all approach.

For example, recently during a rare moment of independent play from our toddler I caught up my husband on some recent money I had moved around between our accounts. No biggie, it made sense, but it opened up a bigger discussion of what our cash levels looked like for the next couple weeks and how we should be using it.

There was a looming purchase we agreed he should make for his at home gym, some things the baby needed (this whole growing thing is expensive!) and some fun things I had my eye on too.

We quickly decided that if we just spread out the purchases a bit, it would all work just fine.

So we decided his purchase would be first, because we knew the item would sell out if we waited. We would buy some of the baby clothes we needed, but not go crazy, and my stuff would wait a couple weeks.

Plan set. Conversation ended.

That my friends, was an easy-peasy money date. A mini-money date, if you will.

If it can’t be the big sit down meeting with all the numbers, have the smaller conversations as part of the course of your everyday life.

Talking about money gets easier the more you do it. It keeps you working as a unit to make the best decisions for your family.

Because at the end of the day money conversations are goal setting conversations. And you have to stay vigilant in directing the day-to-day decisions of your family toward your longer term goals.

P.S. I wasn’t joking when I mentioned the wine! When you have your big sit down talks for the month, set the stage to make it a pleasant experience. Come prepared, fed (don’t want to talk about money on an empty stomach!) and not overly tired. Set a time limit, and have a reward for yourselves for having the conversation.