How to Shift Out of Resistance and Into Action
I love talking and learning about money. I get a kick out of doing my budget.
But I know you might not feel the same way.
You might even consider managing your money a (gasp!) chore.
But I’m sure there are some chores that feel pretty basic to you, that I struggle with. (I just washed my curtains in my dining room for the first time in years, please don’t judge)
The point is… we are all wired differently. But at some point, whether we realize it or not, we make a decision about what we see as easy or not.
Money is hard. Washing the curtains is hard.
It stays that way until the program grows to the point you are forced to take some action.
So you start to pump yourself up. “I’m going stop ignoring that pesky chore! I’m going to actually do the thing!”
But then you don’t. Or you start then stop. Or you get confused and overwhelmed. And you fall back into your “but it’s hard” classification and go back to ignoring it for a while.
But here is the thing.
Most of the basic things that we need to do to manage our money with intention (like a budget, looking at numbers, setting some financial goals, moving money to savings) are not hard.
Washing the curtains? Not hard either. Just takes a little planning and time.
What makes it feel so hard is our resistance to it.
Resistance is a sneaky little devil that worms its way into places in your brain that you wouldn’t expect it to be.
Assuming something is too hard… resistance.
Feeling confused and giving up… resistance.
Avoiding tackling what you know you need to… resistance.
To shift your resistance you need to understand what is underneath it. Underneath resistance is a fear. Underneath fear is a belief.
If you can get to the belief, and shift that… you shift everything.
So here is a quick exercise to help you work through your resistance.
1. Identify the resistance
Money example: I’m feeling resistant to building a budget. Every time I sit down at the computer I get overwhelmed.
Curtain example: I walk by those curtains and think about them every day, but I never take action on washing them.
2. Ask yourself: What fear is showing up for me under my resistance?
Money example: I’m scared I see that I need to cut back and won’t be able to spend the way I want to anymore.
Curtain example: I’m scared I’ll realize how dusty they were and feel bad about myself for waiting so long to do it.
3. Ask yourself: What belief about ______ (money, curtains, etc.) am I trying to protect?
Money example: That I can’t spend on fun things AND be good with money.
Curtain example: I’m a bad housekeeper.
4. Ask yourself: Is this belief serving me? Is it 100% true?
Money example: I know it will take some work to figure out how I want to be spending my money, but deep down I know it’s possible to do both.
Curtain example: I have some things I can work on, but I’m busy and need to give myself a break!
5. How can you reframe your belief to shift out of resistance?
Money example: I will give myself permission to track my spending for two months, with zero judgment, before I decide what changes I want to make.
Curtain example: I’m going to ask for help getting the curtains down. Once they are down, I’ll have some momentum and complete the chore.
Often, doing this exercise is enough to get the resistance shifted and you shed light on the root of the issue. If you are still feeling a lot of resistance I recommend breaking down the task that you need to do or ask for help (from a trusted friend or coach).
Working on your resistance is working on your mindset. And mindset work is an ongoing investigation into what thoughts and beliefs are happening on autopilot, and if they are serving you. Stay curious about your mindset and dig deeper when something isn’t working or feels off to you. This work will serve your bank account just as much as crunching the numbers.